leather studded kisses;

title:
date: Sunday, July 5, 2009
time:11:17:00 AM

There's this part of me which knows that i'm capable of nailing every single target yet there's this other part which knows i'm not capable of multi-tasking that well.
I'm in the middle of my Prelims and things have been rough so far. The reality that i can't flamboyantly announce that i would ace any papers already is a clear indication that i'm not prepared for the A's.

Getari is set to perform for a racial harmony show this sat and dikir training has been back to back.
Having missed an opportunity to perform the last time due to school commitments, i wouldn't want to give this a miss once more especially when i've committed hours into training.
Honestly, stress is catching up with me sooner than i expected.
One moment i easily lay out to you the lyrics to the song and at the very next, totally forget the rhythm and words to the song.
The irony is such that while attempting to focus and get the steps right, my mind is polluted with economics and literature yet when i'm actually revising, the lyrics of the song start floating uncontrollably in my subconscious.
I collapsed under pressure by admittedly saying i simply can't sing and perform the steps all at once when it was possible for me to do so the last time round.
I threw in the towel and that's my reality laid out on a blank sheet.

There's filming final year project to complete once my last paper is over. The script to memorise together with the props to design and only to complicate things further, shooting would be on the same day as that which Getari would be performing.

Everything is happening all at once.
It's of no logic that i can possibly be at two places at the exact same time nor is it even possible that i can confidently divide my 24 hours a day exceptionally well such that i'm able to accommodate studying, practicing and memorising all within this limited time.

This is the point when i start doubting my capabilities to a position that i'm this entity with raised hopes and failed expectations.

Love,
vinTage dreams

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